Even if you are doing all the “right” things

When it comes to changing your physique whether it is taking steps towards reducing symptoms of a chronic illness, losing excess fat or becoming stronger, it is about more than just what meets the eye.

You have probably gone on more diets, restriction cycles or exercise plan than you can count. I know I have. Whether it was to heal my endometriosis or lose a few extra kg. Since the age of 12 I have wanted to have a leaner body than I had. Regardless of what I tried, nothing ever worked. At least not long term. If I was lucky enough to release the excess fat around my tummy, it would come back a few weeks, months or years later. It usually was tied to mental struggle, shame and a whole lot of self-loathing.

“why can’t I just lose this belly fat” combined with a whole lot of frustration was on the agenda every single day. I never understood why I couldn’t just have the body I wanted once and for all by exercising more and eating less. Even when I did all the “right” things, I felt miserable in my skin and results were none to slim.

It wasn’t until, I was open to find new teachings, look at it from a holistic perspective, started to find worthiness from within and that I dove head first into healing all aspects of my being that I started to see real change and results. Not only physically but also mentally.

So let’s dive into the 5 reasons why you might not have the body you truly desire yet.

1. you try to force a body you hate into a body you love

You cannot heal a body you hate. I will preach this until the day I die. Let me illustrate this for a second. Imagine you are in charge of raising a child into a decent human being. How well do you think that experiment will turn out if you constantly belittle, shame and force that child?

See where I am going with this?

You cannot force your body to heal and change if you do it from a place of hate. You have to at least find a resemblance of acceptance first. I know, most of us don’t actually know how that looks or feels like. But let me tell you that like anything else learning to accept and even loving yourself is a practice that can be learnt.

If you are reading this, I imagine that you want to change, heal or love your body but haven’t been successful long term yet. I would even bet that at least a part of you still hates those love handles, thighs or symptoms – this is where you start. You start by finding acceptance for where you are at.

This doesn’t mean you have to love every single part of your body, your symptoms and who you are. It means that you start by seeing and noticing the things you love about yourself first, be grateful for what your body allows you to do and by understanding why you are where you are you find acceptance for the things you don’t like.

There is so much more happening than what you think there is. If there is something that you really want but regardless of how much effort you put in, you cannot achieve it, you are probably self-sabotaging.

2. you subconsciously sabotage your progress

Let’s say you want to lose weight, but regardless of how much willpower you put into it, you just cannot get yourself to exercise regularly, eat a balanced diet and drink more water.

It should be easy right? Well you are forgetting about your subconscious programming.

“Having is evidence of wanting” Carolyn Elliott

If some part of you feels unsafe being thin, strong, healthy, fit –  you name it, your subconscious mind will sabotage all your efforts to change and adopt new behaviours.

Creating new and healthy habits should not be difficult. It is only difficult because a part of you doesn’t want and feels threatened by the very thing you want most.

The root causes behind this kind of self-sabotage can go from a simple fear to leave the comfort zone (yes even unhealthy habits can be a comfort zone, especially if you have had this habit for years on end) to traumatic experiences from the past. Mindful healing from past experiences that keep you trapped and regulating your nervous system will allow you to make progress with ease.

Once I did my deep healing, I started to naturally want to drink more water, move my body in a way that makes me happy and introduce a more balanced diet.

3. you believe in the whole calories in vs calories out – narrative

Again, it should be easy right? Calories in VS calories out. Eat healthy and move your body.

After all that’s what we have been taught.

Of course it is important to eat a healthy and varied diet and to move your body regularly. I will not say the opposite. BUT, I will also say that it is not the be all and end all.

I will say something that might shock you but it is important you hear this:

No amount of restrictions or exercise will give you the physique you desire long term. Because you are overlooking a few things:

• There might be some underlying health concerns that you are not looking at from all perceptive or might not even be aware of – I will always recommend working with a naturopath or natural health professional

• Calories are not all the same – I highly invite you to read the book the glucose revolution from Jessie Inchaupsé

• If your body doesn’t feel safe to release the excess weight or symptoms, it won’t heal it

• Your beliefs about your body, food and your body’s ability to heal and shed excess weight will impact how your body works and heals. I have started to collect studies and books that will help get your mind on board with those new beliefs – message me if you want to know more.

So your job, is to learn how your mind and body function together, install a sense of safety in your desired outcome and reprogram your mind to effortless healing and weight control.

4. you haven’t been taught how to effectively and holistically install healthy habits

You probably have tried countless times to install and adopt new habits, whether it is a morning routine, a healthier diet or even just daily meditation. If you are anything like me, you usually do it for 3 days and then just forgot about it.

We have all been told that adopting a new habit takes about 21 to 45 days depending on the source. That still does not give us a blueprint of how we are supposed to achieve those days successfully except willpower.

Willpower is only a limited resource we have. Some of us have very little of it, like me (I have an open heart centre in human design).

There are ways to change your habits that is a gentle and successful without having to rely on willpower. “So, how do I do so?” I hear you ask:

• You start slow with the tiniest change possible – we want to make sure your nervous system finds it safe and big changes feels threatening to your nervous system
• You work with your situation and adapt – Something doesn’t work for you, change, experiment, adapt. Don’t just give up because you think you are a loser for not being able to stick to it
• You make it easy for you and get creative – do you need reminders, do you need to tie it to another habit? You find solutions that work for you.
• You look at the underlying causes – if something is impossible for you to change, maybe you are still sabotaging yourself

5. you try to overcome emotional eating by restricting yourself

How many times have you been on a binge and said to yourself this is the last time, I am going on a diet tomorrow?

Then you felt ashamed and frustrated. Am I right?

Add to that the fact that you probably ate to numb your emotions and it was even more impossible for you to stop. I’ll just start tomorrow, Monday or next year.

First, your healing journey starts today, one tiniest change at a time from a place of self-compassion.

Second, you have to learn to process your emotions in a healthy way rather than numbing with food. This takes time and I admit isn’t always a walk in the park but once you get to the other end, you realise that even uncomfortable emotions aren’t that bad and that you can respond to anger, sadness and frustration in a more holistic way than with food.

Third, restriction will only make your mind want a food more. You threaten yourself to never have a food after this and you will eat even more of it. Once you allow all foods to be a part of your diet, it starts to become less seductive and you will naturally eat less of it maybe even not have it at all anymore.

These topics are part of what I teach my clients in the holistic body – a 1:1 program to finally have the body you want without sacrifices and restrictions. Learn more about the program here.

If you want to know more about working with me, message me at [email protected]

What reason was the most eye opening to you?

Let me know via email me at i[email protected]